The Harry Potter Chatroom
by Abbetrix Lystrange
Summary: Dumbledore is amused with the clever emoticons, Bellatrix has unreadable typing JsTt !yKk D!Ss, the characters are choosing bizarre usernames, Voldemort is a victim of cyber bullying, and no one will tell poor Snape what the heck 69 means!
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I thought it would be fun to write a FF on The Harry Potter characters in a chatroom. People have done loads of these, but I HAD to try it because it looks FUN! xD

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything Harry Potter :(  


* * *

**  
Harry Potter Chatroom**

_**C**_**hOsEn#1, RedHairFREAK172, booksRcool79 IS ONLINE.**

_**C**_**hOsEn#1  
**hi ron, hi hermione

**RedHairFREAK172  
**hi harry, hello Hermione! I LOVE YOUUU!!!!!!!!111

**booksRcool79  
**Hello Harry! AND I LOVE YOU TOO RONNIE!!!!!!

_**C**_**hOsEn#1  
**guys, that is freaking me out... stop. NOW

**RedHairFREAK172  
**look whos talking??? have you seen ginny lately??? hmmmm??????????????????????//

_**C**_**hOsEn#1  
**hey ron, why don't you shut up!?

**RedHairFREAK172  
**Oooo! im getting GINNY!

**quidditch_is_LOVE IS ONLINE.**

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**ron, does it sound like I care about harry telling you to shut up. we both know you are a prat!you big stupid prat!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**Oooooooo! BURRRRNNNNNNNN!

**RedHairFREAK172  
**hermione will back me up! right hermione!?

**booksRcool79  
**Sorry Ronald... but you can be a prat sometimes. :\

**RedHairFREAK172  
**well, I can see that i'm loved here.... i'm going to go eat my feelings

**RedHairFREAK172 WENT OFFLINE.**

**booksRcool79  
**Honestly.

***-'KittenFanatic'-* IS ONLINE.**

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**umbridge? what in the hell are you doing on here?!

**booksRcool79  
**O_o

***-'KittenFanatic'-*  
**I just have to say one thing Harry Potter. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**WTF?!

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**i'm gonna bitch slap you umbridge!

***-'KittenFanatic'-*  
**I have always loved you, Harry! Run away with me!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**how about no, crazy psychopath, don't you molest cats or something?

***-'KittenFanatic'-*  
**OH CRAP! YOU FOUND OUT!

***-'KittenFanatic'-* WENT OFFLINE.**

**booksRcool79  
**That was weird.

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**hell yeah it was! WTF!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**that bitch. i'm going to sick arnold on her!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**LMAO! you would ginny, you would.

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**;)

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS LOGGED ON.**

**RedHairFREAK172  
**hey guys!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**dude, umbridge just said that she loved me.

**RedHairFREAK172  
**WOW! SICKKK! HAH!!! LOL

**booksRcool79  
**It's not that funny Ronald!

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**Ha! Yeah it is!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**and that she molests cats!

**RedHairFREAK172  
**LMAO! well, no surprise there.:)

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**I know right?!*high fives ron*

**booksRcool79  
***shakes head in disapproval*

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**hermione, stop being such a downer.

**booksRcool79  
**WHAT?! I am most certainly not a downer! I am just mature!

**booksRcool79 HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY **_**C**_**hOsEn_#1.**

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**WHOS THE MAN!?!?!?!!!

**RedHairFREAK172  
**YOU DA MAN! But seriously, un-block my gf

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**oh alright

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1 HAS UN-BLOCKED booksRcool79.**

**booksRcool79  
**That's not cool harry!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**nag nag nag... blah blah blah.

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**LMAO!!!

**booksRcool79  
**I'm serious Harry! You are SO immature!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
***makes hand talking thingy* blah blah blah me me blah.... blee blah nag nag blah.

**booksRcool79  
**HARRY JAMES POTTER!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**take a friggin joke... sheesh

**RedHairFREAK172  
**it was pretty funny hermione...  
please don't hurt me

**booksRcool79  
**Yeah, yeah, yeah.

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**we still love you hermione, even though you do like to nag :D

**-Ferret_GANGSTA- IS ONLINE.**

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-  
**POTTER STINKS! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**go AWAY malfoy.

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-  
**what if I don't want to?

**booksRcool79  
**Ferret_GANGSTA??? Are you all into ferrets now?

**RedHairFREAK172  
**yeah, WTF malfoy?

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-  
**OMFG!!!! FERRETS ARE SO COOL!!!! I JUST LOVE THEM!!! *picks up a ferret and licks it*

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**okaaaaaayyyyyy then.

**-Ferret_GANGSTA- HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY quidditch_is_LOVE.**

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**thank you ginny!

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**yup.

***.:iLOVEsnorkacks:.* IS ONLINE.**

***.:iLOVEsnorkacks:.*  
**Hello Harry. Hello Hermione. Hello Ron. Hello is so nice to talk to you all today.

**booksRcool79  
**Hi Luna! How are you?

***.:iLOVEsnorkacks:.*  
**Quite pleasant, I am reading an article about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks in the Quibbler. Thank you for asking Hermione.

**booksRcool79  
**Mhm.

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**Sooooooooooooooo... um. What does it say about it this time.

***.:iLOVEsnorkacks:.*  
**It says that they might have spotted one in Antarctica, disguised as a penguin.

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**oh did it?! are they sure that it wasn't just a penguin?

***.:iLOVEsnorkacks:.*  
**Yes. They are positive this time that it really was a Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

**RedHairFREAK172  
**I bet they were, Luna. I bet they were.

***.:iLOVEsnorkacks:.*  
**I think I will go have some pudding.

***.:iLOVEsnorkacks:.* WENT OFFLINE.**

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**awkwaaaaarrrrrrrdddddddddd.

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**pretty much.

**RedHairFREAK172  
**disguised as a PENGUIN?! ROFL!

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**ROFLCOPTER!

**RedHairFREAK172  
**WTF does that one mean?

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**have NO idea, i just think it looks cool!

**booksRcool79  
**Nice Ginny.

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**i'm hungry.

**RedHairFREAK172  
**then go eat something then

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**well maybe i will!

**RedHairFREAK172  
**THEN DO IT.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN IS ONLINE.**

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**I will kill you Harry Potter.

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**surrrreeeeeeee voldemort, but you have tried like what... a million times now. And you stiiilllllllllll havent. and one of them was when i waz a baby! PANSY!

**RedHairFREAK172  
**HAH! VOLDY-POO IS A PANSY!!!!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**DON'T. CALL. ME. THAT.

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**ooooooooo..... scawy Voldy-poo is maddd!!!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**SHUT UP! COME ON!

**booksRcool79  
**VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**NOT COOL!

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**okay, we are sorry.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**Thank you. But you will die soon Harry Potter, and I will be the one who kills you.

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**whatever you say... Voldy-poo!

**RedHairFREAK172  
**LMAO!!! OMFG! You got burned Voldy-poo!

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**Burned BAD!

**booksRcool79  
**REALLY BAD!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**That wasn't nice!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN WENT OFFLINE**

**quidditch_is_LOVE  
**I hope we made him cry.

_**C**_**hOsEn_#1  
**I bet we did.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you liked it. I might continue this with chapters, it's fun to write these. Goodbye for now!

-Abbie


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: CHAPTER TWO! YIPPIE! _–throws confetti up into the air-  
_

DISCLAIMER:  
_**Abbetrix_Lystrange & J_To_Da_K_Rowling**_** IS ONLINE.**

**Abbetrix_Lystrange  
**Hey Jo! Wazzzzup!

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**Oh no, not you again! I thought I had a restraining order! Listen, no for the thousandth time, I will not give you Harry Potter.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange  
**But -but . . . why not?

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**Because I put in years and years of hard work into that series and I can't just give it to someone!

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Are you surrreeee I can't have it?

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling**  
Positive.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Really, really, really sure?

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**Yes.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Like, how sure are you? On a scale of 1-10. Two? Or hopefully one?

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling**  
Alright, I'll give it a 100.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Oh you're such a joker! That must be why you picked J.K. for your initials! JK as in 'just kidding'! Heheh! You're hilarious!

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling**  
I am being perfectly serious.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Well . . . how about I can own one character. Can I have Ron? He's hot.

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**No, you cannot have Ron.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Um . . . how about Bellatrix, she's so badass!

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**No!

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Dumbledore? :)))))

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**You irritate me.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
BUT I AM YOUR BIGGEST FAN!

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**Please remember to follow my restraining order, Abbie. Goodbye.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY ****J_To_Da_K_Rowling.**

**Abbetrix_Lystrange  
**Meh. I'll just stick to FanFictions since I don't own Harry Potter and sadly never will.

* * *

**Harry Potter Chatroom  
Chapter 2**

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN & Half-AB+Prince IS ONLINE.**

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**Hey Severus, does everyone call me Voldy-poo behind my back?

**Half-AB+Prince  
**No my Lord, why do you think that?

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
**Well, Harry Potter and his friends were calling me that on chat a few days ago and idk . . . it just hurts that's all.

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Don't let those kids bully you my Lord, they are all blubbering fools. Remember what Lucius Malfoy said about cyber bullies?

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
"Cyber bullies are people with nothing better to do than pick on innocent people and should always be ignored"

**Half-AB+Prince**  
That's right, my Lord.

**YoMAMAS_a_Rat HAS LOGGED ON.**

**YoMAMAS_a_Rat**  
MY LORD!11111111111!1!11!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
What is is now, Wormtail?

**YoMAMAS_a_Rat**  
heheh tiping iz funnnnn

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT YoMAMAS_a_Rat an *Avada Kedarva!***

**YoMAMAS_a_Rat**  
:((((((((((( 999

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
PERFECT YOUR SPELLING!

**YoMAMAS_a_Rat HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY Half-AB+Prince. **

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO ONE BUT ME CAN BLOCK PEOPLE IN THIS CHATROOM!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince a *Crucio!* Half-AB+Prince**  
I am very sorry, my Lord. I shall not block anyone ever again.

***-'KittenFanatic'-* HAS LOGGED ON. **

***-'KittenFanatic'-***  
I AM IN LOVE WITH HARRY POTTER!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
!/!111111

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT *-'KittenFanatic'-* an *Avada Kedarva!***

** VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT *-'KittenFanatic'-* an *Avada Kedarva!* **

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT *-'KittenFanatic'-* an *Avada Kedarva!* **

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT *-'KittenFanatic'-* an *Avada Kedarva!* **

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT *-'KittenFanatic'-* an *Avada Kedarva!* **

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT *-'KittenFanatic'-* an *Avada Kedarva!* **

**Half-AB+Prince**  
My Lord, all of these *Avada Kedavra* winks are making my computer slow.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!11

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince an *Avada Kedarva!* **

**Half-AB+Prince AND *-'KittenFanatic'-* HAVE BEEN BLOCKED BY VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN.**

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH IS ONLINE. **

**DrkL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
my Lord i am ur 1 tru follower

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
One true follower . . . That means a great deal, Bellatrix, from you. 

**ChOsEn_#1 IS ONLINE.**

**ChOsEn_#1**  
VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POO! VOLDY-POOSAO;H GAS! 1 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !~~!Z!wu xo3hrohqWDQh QDHQSDFELH LOl! Lol! Lol! Lol! Lol!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
Just leave me alone! :'( :'( :'(

**DrkL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
how dare u!11 U filthy ½ bld!

**ChOsEn_#1 HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY DrkL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH **

VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN  
WTF!1?1/ I SAID NO ONE CAN BLOCK PEOPLE IN THIS CHAT ROOM EXCEPT FOR ME! I AM THE MONITOR! BOW DOWN!

**DrkL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
i am sry my lord!1! plz 4give me!1

**Toilet-SEATS-R-4-WIN & TakeDatPukingPastille_n'_SUCK_IT HAS LOGGED ON.**

**TakeDatPukingPastille_n'_SUCK_IT**  
Why George! Look who we have met here in this fine chatroom! Voldy-poo!

**Toilet-SEATS-R-4-WIN**  
Why how positively corking Fred! So it is!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN WENT OFFLINE. **

**DrkL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
u ditry litl monkeys r going 2 pay sumday!1111! beware of the drk lord!

**TakeDatPukingPastille_n'_SUCK_IT**  
Why hello Bellatrix! Fancy seeing you here!

**DrkL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH WENT OFFLINE. **

**Toilet-SEATS-R-4-WIN**  
Awh I don't think she likes us very much Fred.

**TakeDatPukingPastille_n'_SUCK_IT**  
She's just type-less because of our dangerously awesome usernames.

**Toilet-SEATS-r-4WIN**  
YAY! Dinners ready!

**TakeDatPukingPastille_n'_SUCK_IT**  
WOO-HOO! I hope Ickle Ronniekins doesn't eat it all.

**Toilet-SEATS-r-4WIN & TakeDatPukingPastille_n'_SUCK_IT LOGGED OFF.**

**CHAT ROOM STATUS: NO ONE CURRENTLY ONLINE Chat room is sad :( **

**booksRcool79 & RedHairFREAK172 IS ONLINE.**

**RedHairFREAK172**  
I LOVE YOU MY HERMIONE FACE!

**booksRcool79**  
AND I WUV YOU TOO BISCUIT HEAD!

**RedHairFREAK172**  
KISSY KISSY!

**booksRcool79**  
Oh shit, we are starting to sound like Lavender Brown.

**~Lav-Lav-Oh-Mah-Gawd~ HAS LOGGED ON.**

**~Lav-Lav-Oh-Mah-Gawd~**  
WON-WON! It's me! Lavender!

**RedHairFREAK172**  
Oh look at that! I have to go eat dinner!

**RedHairFREAK172 & booksRcool79 WENT OFFLINE. **

**~Lav-Lav-Oh-Mah-Gawd~**  
like, ZOMG! wth?

**~Lav-Lav-Oh-Mah-Gawd~ WENT OFFLINE.**

**-Ferret_GANGSTA- IS ONLINE.**

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
AHHHH! I LOVEEEE FERRETSSSSSSSS! Harry Potter sucks, and if he were a ferret, he would be BALD! With a big stupid scar on his head, and dumb green eyes!  
WAIT! No, Harry is not cool enough to be a ferret.

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful IS ONLINE.**

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
hey, dad?

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Yes son?

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
would you still love me if I was a ferret?

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Well, if by love you mean putting you in a cage and feeding you? No. You would be dead to me. I am allergic to ferrets.

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
i thought you loved me!

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Oh, don't worry. Just don't become a ferret

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
but what if becoming a ferret is my dream?

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Why can't you just aspire to be a great Ministry of Magic Official or Death Eater? Anything better than a ferret!

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME!

**-Ferret_GANGSTA- WENT OFFLINE. **

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful WENT OFFLINE. **

**Sherbet*LeMoN* & VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN IS ONLINE **

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Hello, Tom.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
ARRRGAHAHAGHG! IT'S DUMBLEDORE!

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN WENT OFFLINE.**

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: TEE-HEE-HEE! Dumbledore is kickass. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See ya soon!

-Abbie


	3. Chapter 3

AUTHOR'S NOTE: "Good morning starshine! The earth says HELLO!" (Well, if it is morning while you are reading this. If not just replace it with day/evening/afternoon . . .) How has your summer been so far? Mine has been uneventful, I've been socially awkward and haven't been hanging out with people much. Just reading and stuff, ya know. Sleeping, oh my gosh, sleeping like crazy! Yay! But enough about me, here's the third chapter for you! OH! OMG! By the way, did you see the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows trailer? I nearly died when I saw it! So freaking incredible! Oh by the way, sorry if you were a bit confused and it wasn't working and stuff, I had a bit of trouble uploading this.

DISCLAIMER:

**Abbetrix_Lystrange  
**GIVE ME HARRY POTTER! PLEASEEEEE! I WILL GIVE YOU FREE PUDDING!

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**No.

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please!

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling  
**What do you think I am going to answer, Abbie?

**Abbetrix_Lystrange  
**Yes, of course.

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling WENT OFFLINE.**

**Abbetrix_Lystrange  
**Meh.

I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

**Harry Potter Chatroom  
Chapter 3**

**Sherbet*LeMoN*, TaBbYSareLoVEwitch, iFlit_DAT_Wick, 3'sArgus, KidsSHOULDbLOKED^, P!NKn'fluffyEarmuffs, PeEvSieWiltMakeItDOUBLE!, Half-AB+Prince, CrystalBALLgazer7 IS ONLINE.**

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Hello everyone! Well, I really like this new chat room we have here! Very efficient, don't you all think?

**CrystalBALLgazer7**  
I think it is unlucky, what if when thirteen are in a chat room, the first person to log off will die!

**TaBbYSareLoVEwitch**  
We'll risk it, Sibyll.

**KidsSHOULDbLOKED^**  
well McGonagall, I think its stupid

**PeEvSieWiltMakeItDOUBLE!**  
Thou FACE is stupid, Mr. Filch!

**KidsSHOULDbLOKED^**  
PEEVES! BAN HIM DUMBLEDORE!

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Oh but I can't, he always gives me such a chuckle!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I disagree Professor, I think he should be banned.

**PeEvSieWiltMakeItDOUBLE!**  
Thou FACE shalt be BANNED! HA HA HA!

**PeEvSieWiltMakeItDOUBLE! HAS BLOCKED BY KidsSHOULDbLOKED^**

s;l,vbgbgytdzsredA

**P!NKn'fluffyEarmuffs**  
You gave your cat an account, Argus?

**KidsSHOULDbLOKED^**  
my sweet loves to walk across the keyflored, or whatever the hell it's called

****.aqqqqtfbhjinh phm y,l,kmjbhcdyu8sad65w2

**iFlit_DAT_Wick**  
. . . I want a cherry syrup and fizzy drink with ice and an umbrella really bad right now.

**TaBbYSareLoVEwitch**  
Professor Flitwick, really. And Filch, this is nonsense! Albus why are we even here?

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
That is a good question Minerva, I just thought it would be quite a pleasant time for us all to chat.

**TaBbYSareLoVEwitch**  
Well, excuse me Professor, but I have supplies letters to write. Good day you all.

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Have a charming evening, Minerva.

**TaBbYSareLoVEwitch HAS LOGGED OFF. **

***-'KittenFanatic'-* HAS LOGGED ON. **

***-'KittenFanatic'-***  
Wait, is this a staff chat meeting? I'm sorry I'm late I was just um – I LOVE HARRY POTTER!

**CrystalBALLgazer7**  
The inner eye has told me that NO ONE LIKES YOU UMBRIDGE SO GET LOST.

***-'KittenFanatic'-* HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY CrystalBALLgazer7. **

**CrystalBALLgazer7**  
BITCH.

**P!NKn'fluffyEarmuffs**  
Wow, go Sybill!

**CrystalBALLgazer7**  
That's what that bitch gets for sacking me.

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Wonderfully handled dear Sybill. Now, I think I will go and practice my knitting patterns.

**Sherbet*LeMoN* HAS LOGGED OFF. **

**KidsSHOULDbLOKED^**  
THAT DAMNED PEEVES! He just dumped a bowl of pudding on top of my NEW WIRELESSSSSSSSSSSSS!111111

**KidsSHOULDbLOKED^ & WENT OFFLINE. **

**CrystalBALLgazer7**  
I must go and read tea leaves.

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I must do important things that have none of your concern.

** iFlit_DAT_Wick**  
I'm going to the Three Broomsticks.

**P!NKn'fluffyEarmuffs**  
I shall join you, Filius!

**CrystalBALLgazer7, Half-AB+Prince, iFlit_DAT_Wick, P!NKn'fluffyEarmuffs WENT OFFLINE. CHAT ROOM IS NOW SAD. :(**

**ChOsEn#1 HAS LOGGED ON.**

**ChOsEn#1**  
wow, no one is on? not even Voldemort! even he's on all of the time!

**RedHairFREAK172 IS ONLINE. RedHairFREAK172**  
wazzzzuuuuupppppppp?

**C****hOsEn#1**  
Ron! !/!1111111

**booksRcool79 HAS LOGGED ON. **

**RedHairFREAK172**  
Hermione! ?1111

**ChOsEn#1**  
WAZZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUUUUPPPP!

**RedHairFREAK172**  
!

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**booksRcool79**  
NO. And don't send me those stupid wink things, they make a weird sound and slow my computer down.

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!***

** booksRcool79**  
Honestly, Ron!

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**RedHairFREAK172 HAS SENT booksRcool7 A *WAZZUP!* **

**RedHairFREAK172**  
how's your computer working now Hermione?

**booksRcool79**  
You are a git.

**RedHairFREAK172**  
. . . that hurt Hermione, that really hurt. :( do you see that SAD face? you have made me sad now. i hope ur happy with yourself!

**booksRcool79**  
:) I am actually. Very happy with myself, hence the happy face.

**Bulgaria4daWIN**  
Hermione! How wonderful to see you on this chat room!

**booksRcool79**  
Viktor! I didn't know you had a computer!

**Bulgaria4daWIN**  
Yeah I know, it is strange. I just found a computer right out of the blue and I knew how to use it right away. Isn't that odd?

**booksRcool79**  
Apparently that's what's' happening to all wizards and witches. The entire wizarding world. They are just finding computers now, they just pop up. And they all just suddenly know how to use it and have electricity. Very strange. Completely unrealistic.

**ChOsEn#1**  
*Nods head in agreement* It's strange, but moving on.

**RedHairFREAK172**  
SO vikTOR, what a pleasant surprise! how are things going in Bulgaria? are you visiting any time soon?

**ChOsEn#1**  
hey, Ron, why don't we go and have some treacle tart!

**RedHairFREAK172**  
NO, no way I want to know where viktor is!

**Bulgaria4daWIN**  
Oh, I'm currently in the country now for Quidditch, you know.

**booksRcool79**  
That's lovely Viktor! You should come visit!

**RedHairFREAK172**  
i'm sure Viktor is way too busy Hermione.

**Bulgaria4daWIN**  
Actually I have a bit of spare time today. I could pop over.

**RedHairFREAK172**  
oh you really don't have to! That's too kind, but we are fine! Perfect! No need to visit!

**Bulgaria4daWIN**  
Maybe some other day then, but I better go. Goodbye! See you soon Hermione!

**booksRcool79**  
Goodbye Viktor!

**ChOsEn#1**  
yeah, see ya. :)

**Bulgaria4daWIN IS OFFLINE. RedHairFREAK172**  
git.

**booksRcool79**  
Ron, really. Viktor is very nice.

**RedHairFREAK172 IS OFFLINE. **

**booksRcool79**  
GRRRRRRRRRRR!

**ChOsEn#1**  
Um, I g2g! there is a treacle tart downstairs with my name on it! Bye!

**ChOsEn#1 IS OFFLINE. **

**quidditch_is_LOVE HAS LOGGED ON. **

**quidditch_is_LOVE**  
hi Hermione! How are you?

** booksRcool79**  
Ginny, your brother Ron is a git.

**quidditch_is_LOVE**  
tell me something i don't know.

**-Ferret_GANGSTA- IS ONLINE. -Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
I LOVE FERRETTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! THEY ARE SO FUZZY AND PRETTY AND I JUST LOVE THEM! TEEHEE! THEY ARE SO CUTE I JUST WANT TO SET ONE ON FIRE!

**booksRcool79**

**quidditch_is_LOVE**  
why would you want to set a ferret on fire? That's not a good thing to do.

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
BUT YOU BLOOD TRAITER AND MUDBLOOD WOULDN"T B FERRETS BECUZ YOU ARE STOOOOPID!

** quidditch_is_LOVE**  
ur face is stupid!

**-Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
ur mum is stupid!1!1!1!`1`1`1! oooooooo!

**quidditch_is_LOVE HAS SENT -Ferret_GANGSTA- a *Bat-Bogey Hex* **

**quidditch_is_LOVE HAS SENT -Ferret_GANGSTA- a *Bat-Bogey Hex* **

**quidditch_is_LOVE HAS SENT -Ferret_GANGSTA- a *Bat-Bogey Hex* **

**quidditch_is_LOVE HAS SENT -Ferret_GANGSTA- a *Bat-Bogey Hex* **

**quidditch_is_LOVE HAS SENT -Ferret_GANGSTA- a *Bat-Bogey Hex* **

**quidditch_is_LOVE HAS SENT -Ferret_GANGSTA- a *Bat-Bogey Hex* **

**quidditch_is_LOVE**  
don't you talk about my mum that way, bitch!

** -Ferret_GANGSTA-**  
ill talk about ur mum whatever way i want!

**-Ferret_GANGSTA- HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY booksRcool79 **

**quidditch_is_LOVE**  
YES! Thank you Hermione!

**booksRcool79**  
Well, I think I will go. Nice talking to you Ginny.

**booksRcool79 WENT OFFLINE **

**quidditch_is_LOVE WENT OFFLINE. **

**Moony_J_60 & PADFOOT69 ARE ONLINE.**

**Moony_J_60**  
Sirius, I can't believe you put the number 69 in your username.

**PADFOOT69**  
Ur just jealous that I thought of it first, Remus! It is an awesome number and you know it!

**Moony_J_60**  
You are extremely immature.

**PADFOOT69**  
Oh please, it's cooler than ur number! Who chooses their birth year as their number! That is lameeee!

**Moony_J_60**  
It helps remember my username!

**PADFOOT69**  
Lammmeeee.

**Half-AB+Prince IS ONLINE. **

**PADFOOT69**  
Ah, Snivellus! Come to join the party?

** Half-AB+Prince**  
69? To what significance is that number?

**PADFOOT69**  
You don't know what 69 means! HAH! You don't know what it means! EVERYONE Knows what that means! I bet even You-Know-Who knows what that means!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Don't be a fool, just tell me.

**Moony_J_60**  
lol! Sirius don't tell him!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Why can't you tell me? What is so funny?

**PADFOOT69**  
Don't worry Remus, I won't! Maybe if you washed your hair you would get some 69, Snivellus.

**Moony_J_60**  
LMAO!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Really, stop being such children. What is 69? Do I want 69? Is it a magical number, or of some importance?

**PADFOOT69**  
Oh yes, you want it alright.

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Enough of this! What is 69?

**PADFOOT69**  
Should we tell him? . . . . . . Nahhhhh!

**Moony_J_60**  
Sirius you're killing me here! Lol!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I don't have time for this.

**PADFOOT69**  
You don't have time for 69. Not that it is possible for you. Tell me Snivellus, can you do a handstand?

**Half-AB+Prince**  
What? What do handstands have to do with this?

**PADFOOT69**  
I guess that is a no. And oh, nothing, nothing, just forget I asked. Bye Snivellus!

**Moony_J_60 & PADFOOT69 WENT OFFLINE? **

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN IS ONLINE. **

**Half-AB+Prince**  
My lord, do you know the meaning of the number 69?

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
You serious? You don't KNOW THAT? EVERYONE Knows that! Even I know that!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Will you be so kind to tell me, my lord?

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
No. I don't want to discuss this.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN WENT OFFLINE. **

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Blubbering fools. I shall find out the meaning of that number, even if it is the last thing I do!

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Poor Snape, nobody tells him anything. And yes, I use my birth year in my email address. 94! WOO! Good year, good year. I think. I can't remember it. Well, goodbye friends!

-Abbie


	4. Chapter 4

AUTHORS NOTE: Well – It is exactly midnight and I am currently eating freezies while listening to 'The Hologram/Binary Sunset' from Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope Soundtrack while writing this and there is a tornado watch (which has been happening like every day this week) - here's the next chapter.

DISCLAIMER:

**Abbetrix_Lystrange**  
Can I have it . . . now?

**J_To_Da_K_Rowling HAS SENT Abbetrix_Lystrange a *Restraining Order* AND HAS BEEN BLOCKED PERMANENTLY.**

I will never own Harry Potter – unless the all powerful and full of awesomeness J.K. Rowling gives it to me as a Christmas Present (which is highly unlikely).

* * *

**Harry Potter Chatroom**  
**Chapter 4**

**ChOsEn#1 & RedHairFREAK172 IS ONLINE.**

**ChOsEn#1**  
hey

**RedHairFREAK172**  
hi

**ChOsEn#1**  
whats up

**RedHairFREAK172**  
the ceiling

**ChOsEn#1**  
har har har

**RedHairFREAK172**  
nothing much

**ChOsEn#1**  
me 2

**RedHairFREAK172**  
I hate conversations like this

**ChOsEn#1**  
ya, so boring

**RedHairFREAK172**  
i'm hungry

**ChOsEn#1**  
ah! this is how these awkward conversations always come to, someone says they are hungry, then they leave to get something to eat. some 1 says BRB and then poof they are gone

**RedHairFREAK**  
yeah, im just going to go, this is boring

**ChOsEn#1**  
there! at least you were honest, bye

**RedHairFREAK172 LOGGED OFF.**

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH & Half-AB+Prince LOGGED ON.**

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
o l00k !t$$ harryy p0tter!11 I lol i rlyy thnk u $huldd jstt g0 A|\| D d!3e b3cuzz u r a d!rtyy lytl monkyy!

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT ChOsEn#1 a *Crucio!***

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT ChOsEn#1 an *Avada Kedavra!***

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Bellatrix, please, type normally. No one can understand what you are writing.

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince a *Crucio!***

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
$nape ! amm jstt doin !t b3cuzz 3v3ry1 elsee is i thnk it l00k$ c00l

**Half-AB+Prince**  
No, it is not what you say 'cool'. It looks incredibly stupid and makes you sound like a brain dead troll. Unless you are one, which would be exceedingly unsurprising. And stop crucio-ing me!

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince a *Crucio!*  
**

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince a *Crucio!***

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince a *Crucio!***

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince a *Crucio!***

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
LMAO LMAO LMAO ROFLCOPTER! \/\/at 3ver u r jstt j3aluss datt ta drk lrd lyk$ mee b3$tt ii cantt wait t!ll ta daee wh3n he f!ndss out tat u r rlyy jst a tra!t3rr

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I do not need nor care for your thoughts on my loyalty. Spell correctly Bellatrix, you can be somewhat smart if you try incredibly hard.

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH HAS SENT Half-AB+Prince a *Crucio!***

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
i wi! spe! ju$t ta \/\/ay i \/\/ant b3cuzz it iz s0oo |\/|uch fa$ter whn i use $h0rt \/\/0rd$

**ChOsEn#1 WENT OFFLINE**

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I have forgotten that Potter was online this whole time – He may have found out I am on Voldemort's side. Oh, no one will ever believe him. That Potter boy has always been suspicious of me, and has not been keeping it a secret. That arrogant little fool strutting around the castle.

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH**  
\/\/ht 3v $nape u r on ur 0\/\/N

**DrKL0rD+be!a=FuReVaH WENT OFFLINE.**

**Sherbet*LeMoN* HA LOGGED ON.**

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Hello, Severus, are you enjoying your day? :) xD ^.^

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Yes, fine. Harry Potter has seen me talking with Bellatrix, we might not be sure if he understood, her typing is atrocious.

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
I see, would you please do that copy and paste thing as a sample of her typing? ^_^

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Here is her normal typing:  
\/\/at 3ver u r jstt j3aluss datt ta drk lrd lyk4 mee b3$tt ii cantt wait t!ll ta daee wh3n he f!ndss out tat u r rlyy jst a tra!t3rr

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
That is remarkably comical, horrendous but cleverly comical. TEEHEE. I just love writing TEEHEE. (^o^)

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I see that you have taken a liking for emoticons?

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Oh yes! They are the cutest things, especially the Japanese ones! \(^_^)/ Highly enjoyable, don't they just make your day brighter? xD xD XD XD :P

**Half-AB+Prince**  
It's raining. So, no, they do not make my day brighter.

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
(;_;)

**Half-AB+Prince**  
What does that one symbolize?

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
Crying. :'(

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Then why doesn't someone write "I am crying."?

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
(*_*) Then it takes all of the fun out of it!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I think I will be leaving now. But one thing – do you know the meaning of the number 69?

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
(o.O) You don't know what 69 means? But I assure you, everyone does.

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Yes, everyone except me, Headmaster. What is the significance? I am guessing it is a number of some kind of magical importance.

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
xD Oh, magical I imagine! But I am far too old to perform such a feat. O.o :PPP

**Half-AB+Prince**  
But, Headmaster, I am sure you could perform it, you are the most powerful wizard in the world.

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
xD Oh, I'm not well THAT powerful, in THAT way, Severus. (-_-;) (: (:

**Half-AB+Prince**  
It is dark magic?

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
I think I shall go to sleep now, I am feeling rather drowsy. (Z.Z)

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I cannot know this number? It could be used against us if it is dark magic! I heard that Sirius Black and Lupin discussing it, but they would not tell me. They thought it funny, dark magic is to be taken seriously!

**Sherbet*LeMoN***  
I am afraid that this is not the type of education I should be teaching you. Goodnight, Severus! (-.-)Zzz

**Sherbet*LeMoN* WENT OFFLINE.**

**Half-AB+Prince WENT OFFLINE.**

**EckeltricityPWNS & Mollywobbles49 LOGGED ON.**

**EckeltricityPWNS**  
Molly! Mollywobbles! Look at this LINC they call it, or it is spelled LINK, I am not sure. But look! I was sent this by my Eee-mail, and I clicked it! And it went right to THIS moving picture with sound! What do they call them? Oh, a 'Veedio'! ***click here*** Just click that link there Molly, with the little stars and it will lead you to it.

**Mollywobbles49**  
I was "lead to" an absurd man dancing very enthusiastically to what appears 80's music with the words:

We're no strangers to love  
You know the rules and so do I  
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of  
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

Awww, those lyricss are so sweet!

**EckeltricityPWNS**  
Of course, dear, and they call them "RickRoll'd" what a humorous idea! Leading people to a funny song!

**Mollywobbles49**  
This is our new song!

**EckeltricityPWNS**  
Yes, RickRoll'd, what an odd name for a song.

**Mollywobbles49**  
I looked at this site called 'You Toob' or something like that, and I think the song is actually called 'Never Gonna Give You Up'

**EckeltricityPWNS**  
But the title above the veedio says RickRoll'd, I think its called RickRoll'd.

**Mollywobbles49**  
Okay, I'm going to start dinner, and are you at the computer at your office? I didn't know they had them there also.

**EckeltricityPWNS**  
Oh Mollywobbles, computers are popping up everywhere in the wizarding community, and I had to go on one here! They are so interesting, I just love the clicking sound the 'keebored' makes, or is it spelled keyboard. I don't think so, because I see no door KEYS on this board, just the squares with letters on it. Maybe they spell it like keeBORED because the little squares are bored stuck to a board all day long. How clever these muggles are, but why do they call it a keyboard if there aren't any actual door keys on them?

**Mollywobbles49**  
Yes dear, it is all very confusing. I am about to start dinner, be home soon!

**EckeltricityPWNS**  
I'll see you at dinner, Mollywobbles!

**Mollywobbles49 & EckeltricityPWNS WENT OFFLINE.**

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful & Half-AB+Prince ARE ONLINE.**

**Half-AB+Prince**  
Lucius, I need to find what the number 69 means, It has to be of some importance.

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
. . . you seriously don't know what 69 means?

**Half-AB+Prince**  
And you do?

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Of course I do! How could you NOT know what it means!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
I have been extremely uniformed . . . obviously. Would you be KIND enough to TELL me Lucius?

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
This conversation is awkward enough, I have no desire to make it even more uncomfortable, thank you very much.

**Half-AB+Prince**  
How is this subject uncomfortable in any way? I must know the significance of 69!

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Look, Severus, I have my own problems! My son's life ambition is to be a FERRET for Merlin's sake! I have enough on my mind already, without you badgering me with such a stupid question!11!1! Have you heard of google! Look it up!

**Half-AB+Prince**  
But 69 must have a MAGICAL significance! How would google know anything about magic? Do they have sites devoted to such things? Sites devoted to, I don't know, a book about boy that goes to Hogwarts, no they do not! Do they write little stories about it on websites? No they do not! Because muggles don't know about Hogwarts or anything about the wizarding world!

**Half-AB+Prince HAS LOGGED OFF.**

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN IS ONLINE.**

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Hello, my Lord.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
I have decided that I will start my own FlooTube channel, Lucius. I have already posted a video, it quotes me saying "I'M GONNA FIND HARRY POTTER AND I'M GONNA #$% IN HIS #$%!" How is that? And then I also did a movie review of Seventeen Again. Check it out, and like it because it is awesome. Then I decided that I should do a makeup tutorial, and then I did a parody on Twilight. I already have a few terrified comments.

**Blonde_&_B-E-A-utiful**  
Excellent my Lord.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN**  
Yes, It is brilliant. I am brilliant. I shall be called Voldy-Poo no longer. I must go now.

**VOLDEMORT_IZ_DA_MAN WENT OFFLINE.  


* * *

**

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Did you like my little A Very Potter Musical reference in there? I hope you found this chapter entertaining. I am hyper on freezies. Bye! :)

-Abbie


End file.
